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Secret E-Diary - December 2012

Chambers’ security arrangements come under scrutiny 

November 12, 2012: “James Bond: The writing is on the wall. Q: Along with the rest of him.” Ian Fleming  

After the magic of Henrietta Briar-Pitt’s wedding to Ernst Pennington, we have now all been brought back to earth by autumn rain and the start of the new legal year with even less work at even worse rates. All we have to look forward to is quality assessment where some old judge will extract his revenge for some ancient perceived slight in a Siberian robing room by marking you down as fit only to defend guilty shoplifters. I cannot work because Mrs Ernst Pennington (nee Briar-Pitt) has departed to the French Riviera on her honeymoon and some unknown person has locked away all the files pertaining to the case of R. v. Grimble, my next major outing in the Criminal Division. 

30 November 2012
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Missed Moments in Legal History

Author: Nick Chambers QC
ISBN: 9780955657689
Publisher: OblongCreative Ltd
Published: October 2012
Price: £19.95 Hardback
 

Alternative histories are usually gloomy affairs, the dystopic visions of writers in their garrets conjuring “what if” scenes of Nazis marching triumphantly up Whitehall, Czars enthroned in the White House or the lack of scientific progress under an all-powerful, unreformed Papacy. 

30 November 2012
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Secret E-Diary - November 2012

A joyous occasion is marred by a spectre at the feast  

October 8, 2012: “The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men, Gang aft agley” - Robert Burns  

I had hoped that my junior, Miss Henrietta Briar-Pitt would be working on the looming case of R. v. Jason Grimble, alleged co-murderer of Britain’s least popular former circuit judge, Claude Allerick, who was shortly to be tried at the Central Criminal Court by Claude’s successor from the judicial charisma by-pass section. Instead of which, I was ensconced in her equestrian pile, due to give her away to Mr Justice Pennington, batchelor knight, until, that is, recent dietary indiscretions caused a parting of her garments at an eve-of-wedding supper, prompting an apparent withdrawal from the nuptial event. 

31 October 2012
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A Year in the Saddle

Sam Blom-Cooper and Francesca Delany escaped the Bar for a year to cycle across Europe and Asia to Cambodia. Here they report back to  Counsel 

“Don’t be ridiculous!” – Not the exasperated plea of a Head of Chambers nor the disapproving words of a concerned Senior Clerk, when informed of our plans to cycle across the world for a year, but the words of a somewhat over-sized and sweaty border-guard, patrolling the Iran-Turkmenistan frontier that marks the gateway to more than 500km of Karakum Desert sands. Our friendly immigration official seemed equally bemused, however, by our declining his offer of 8am shots of vodka as he was by our choice to head out onto the lonely and already melting desert highway. By 9:30am the thermometer would be nudging 50°C. Sticky tarmac and absurd heat notwithstanding, at least Francesca was now freed of the uncomfortably hot, conservative attire that crossing Iran had entailed. 

31 October 2012
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Book Reviews - Children and same sex families

A. Hayden QC, HHJ J. Penna, M. Allman, S. Greenan, E. Latvio
ISBN: 978 1 84661 319 7
March 2012
Publisher: Jordan Publishing
Price: £55


Children and same sex families (Family Law, Jordan Publishing 2012) by Anthony Hayden QC, Marisa Allman, Sarah Greenan, Elina Nhinda-Latvia and Judge Jai Penna highlights the many complexities which arise from same sex couples becoming parents.  The very meaning of parenthood is being re-evaluated in courts dealing with same sex couples, especially if such couples have an arrangement with a sperm donor or a surrogate mother. The Human Fertilisation and Embryology Act 2008 (HFEA 2008) does away with the old presumption that a biological parent is, in fact, a legal parent, as the book’s fascinating chapter on parenthood shows in detail.  

30 September 2012 / Chris McWatters / Chris McWatters
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SecretE-Diary - October 2012

Whether preparing for a case or a wedding, the best laid plans... 

September 9, 2012: “People only see what they are prepared to see.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson. 

Human beings seemingly spend a vast proportion of their lives preparing for things, only to find that when the event occurs they are, in fact, wholly unprepared. It is a perpetual theme of the Criminal Procedure Rules that we are all to spend endless amounts of time before a trial getting prepared, but which of us has ever arrived at court to find our opponents and co-counsel beaming and ready to go, our clients happy that they have told us all we need to know and a judge in command of the situation, only waiting to fire the starting gun? You may get some of it. You never get all of it. In fact, the more the case might seem to be suitable for such careful forethought, the more that chaos will intrude: the last-minute service of evidence, the lay client who starts sending you notes for the first time half-way through the initial witness, people who turn up to court with some file that has never previously seen the light of the day from which crucial nuggets fly forth – or not as the case may be.

30 September 2012
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SecretE-Diary - September 2012

A nightmare in the woods; and time to give the publicly funded legal profession a sporting chance
 

August 13, 2012: “The only athletic sport I ever mastered was backgammon”
Douglas William Jerrold.

Filled with the joy of the Olympics, the hopeful young athletes from all over the world competing for honour and pride, I felt young again. Anthony Joshua, who won Great Britain’s final medal, a gold one, in boxing said he drew inspiration from King Leonidas, of “300 Spartans” fame. Whilst Leonidas lost his life and his entire force, his bravery became a rallying point for Greek success. I may be doing the commentator who was interviewing young Mr Joshua a disservice, but it sounded as though he just thought the boxer was rambling after a heavy match. Those of us who were forced to undergo a classical education knew otherwise.

31 August 2012
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SecretE-Diary - August 2012

A wedding provides Chambers with a welcome distraction from current woes

July 9, 2012: “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury” 
Groucho Marx 

There is a member of Chambers who has not featured in this diary hitherto. He is called Valentine Parr. His absence from it mirrors his absence from my life and the corporate life of Gutteridge Chambers. Until I saw him at Wimbledon at the weekend, where a very charming solicitor had invited me late in the week to the Ladies’ Final, I had completely forgotten his existence.

31 July 2012
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A barrister kayaks past his Queen

One thousand vessels sailed past the Queen on the Thames to celebrate her Diamond Jubilee. Max Hardy was on one of them...   

In 1612, barristers sailed down the Thames on the royal barge, accompanied by small boats and by musicians, in order to perform a masque in honour of the marriage of James I’s daughter, Princess Elizabeth. Four hundred years later, I took part in a similar ceremony to celebrate the Diamond Jubilee of Princess Elizabeth’s namesake and descendant. 

31 July 2012
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SecretE-Diary - July 2012

Reflections on whether the Bar’s days as an independent referral profession are over  

June 11, 2012: Where a man feels pain he lays his hand.
Dutch Proverb

A return to the Monsoon season together with overdoing it socially at a legal conference gave me a rather nasty chill, which has left one of those irritating coughs that will not quite go away. It is one of the peculiarities of human beings that whilst we are able to feel genuine sympathy for major disabilities, we simply cannot cope with minor medical irritations – either as patient or spectator.

Therefore, I decided yesterday that I should visit the quack. At my doctor’s surgery there are two kinds of reading material: one is in the form of rather basic posters with scary health tips and the other is in the form of light-hearted magazines, presumably to distract patients from fear of the impending consultation. We have only the latter in Chambers and have avoided police faces saying: “Don’t Steal!” or “Avoid Provocation!”

On the other hand, the medical profession has mastered its referral structure much better than the Bar. In my case a doctor could tell presumably that this was one of those hyper-sensitive throats following a chill. A small brown steroid inhaler and I could be packed off to Chambers safely. On the other hand, if I return in two weeks with the same nagging cough, the chances are I will be referred for x-rays or a scan or even a bronchoscopy. A third visit would make this inevitable. With the tests come the specialist consultants, and I would be transferred to their tender mercies until such time as the cause of the illness had been uncovered and I had received all available treatment or the medical profession had given up in bafflement.

And why would this be done? Because it is ingrained in the general practitioner’s very training. He or she understands and accepts the ambit and limitations of professional expertise and the need for referral at certain defined points to acknowledged experts in the field. And, to constrain the slightly less conscientious
practitioner, there is the General Medical Council to regulate whether appropriate referrals have been made.

When students of early twenty-first legal practice come to look at the corresponding referral mechanisms in publicly funded legal work, they will possibly be perplexed to discover how little of this referral ethos still exists in our world, particularly as publicly funded work includes people who are disadvantaged, less well-heeled and those with educational or social difficulties.

Adopting the medical analogy, we have no acknowledged recognition of what passes for a “condition” that requires referral to a barrister, or whether any condition would nowadays necessitate such a referral. At the same time, powerful forces act against referral: the financial interest of the referrer, and the lack of knowledge about referral by the client. Every patient a doctor sees has heard about consultants and knows he can ask to see one.

The profession has no rules as to what should necessitate such a referral and it is difficult to see whether the over-arching regulator has even recognized the issue, let alone considered guiding the profession and the public about it. Some even think that referral fees should be permissible, something so awful that it beggars belief that anyone claiming to act in the public interest could support it in a professional setting. And we have not even got on to the farce of costume confusion, now rampant in the Crown Court.

I told my doctor all this whilst he tried to stick what looked like an ice-lolly stick down my throat whilst wearing a baseball cap to which he had strapped a halogen light.

He beckoned me from the couch to his computer where a 3D anatomical model was revolving on his screen. He used his mouse to point to parts of my throat.
“You know your trouble?” he said. I looked vacant. “You talk too much!”
“You know what it is then?” I asked.
“You’ve got that curse of the gabbling professions - Clergyman’s Throat. Stop talking so much and it will get better!”

I travelled home relieved, but, this morning, the thoughts still nagged me, although I have kept the diary open and the mouth shut. If we still need a referral profession in law, then should not legal regulators be considering at the least when referral to counsel generally, and to leading counsel in particular, is appropriate and, indeed, necessary – particularly where vulnerable people are involved? On the other hand, if our day as an independent referral profession is done, isn’t it time we faced up to the fact? At the moment, in publicly funded law, we seem to have all the regulatory shackles of a referral profession and, increasingly, few of its advantages.

William Byfield is the pseudonym of a senior member of the Bar. Gutteridge Chambers, and the events that happen there, are entirely fictitious.

30 June 2012
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