In my Glorious Rule everyone will have access to at least one playlist based on the motorik drum pattern. Motorik is the rhythm of excitement, of slightly anxious anticipation. On your way to or from court it is the rhythm which will prime your synapses for agile mental fencing with the judge, confirm your glorious victory or stoke the fires of delicious appellate revenge.

The pattern itself is simple – all of you can recreate it with almost any programmable drum machine. It is in 4/4 time, at a moderate or moderately fast tempo, a snare drum on the off beat, hi-hats playing eighth notes and an insistent bass drum between the snares, pushing the rhythm along. The pattern is repeated throughout the song and a crash cymbal is often hit at the beginning of a verse or chorus.

When the time comes, I am minded to delegate the curation of playlists (volunteers may apply here), though I imagine many will start with some krautrock, a wildly eclectic genre covering everyone from the electronics of Kraftwerk to the prog rock of Amon Düül. (For a fuller account of the genre than is remotely possible here, read Julian Cope’s exegesis Krautrocksampler.) Historians might want to explore The Velvet Underground, whose drummer Moe Tucker pounded a similar beat in What Goes On and others. But since Jaki Liebezeit of Can is said to have developed the original drum pattern, it would be churlish to omit something like Mother Sky. For myself, I could listen to Hallogallo by Neu! non-stop until the end of days and, because he idolised Can and in any event can do no wrong, I would insist on Touch Sensitive by Mark E. Smith’s The Fall in proper homage to both him and the rhythm itself.

Without motorik it is hard to imagine post-krautrock bands like Suicide, Spacemen 3 or whole swathes of New Zealand’s magnificent Flying Nun Records roster existing, let alone the krautrock-specific tribute projects like Beak> (by Portishead’s Geoff Barrow), Twelve (by Chris Olley of Six By Seven) and Kosmischer Läufer (apocryphally from the East German Martin Zeichnete, though persistent rumours consider this to be an alias of the very much still alive Drew McFadyen) – all these bands should really be listened to on repeat.

Jonathan Richman and his Modern Lovers knew precisely what beat to use to drive us along Massachusetts Route 128 in Roadrunner, while the unrivalled Stereolab were rarely heard without motorik to back them up, at least in their pre-lounge phase (try out French Disko, Super-Electric and Jenny Ondioline among many others). Even Radiohead got in on the act with Jigsaw Falling Into Place on In Rainbows – Radiohead never do anything other than by design.

Motorik, once heard, cannot be unheard. Its pulse brings us more or less up to date via Under The Pressure by The War On Drugs, through Blankenship by DIIV, to Spitfire by Public Service Broadcasting and most of Ripley Johnson’s Moon Duo output. The supposedly ‘post-rock’ giants Mogwai were unable to withstand its lure recently on Ritchie Sacramento, a song I am currently bewitched by.

Simultaneously capable of calming and energising, motorik is the Zen master of rhythmic patterns. You will thank me for listening to it before and after your working day – and if you find your fingers tapping the rhythm during submissions, think of it as an inner voice inspiring you to even greater feats of advocacy, or to stay calm in the face of judicial probing. To quote Klaus Dinger of Neu!, motorik is, after all, ‘a very human beat’.